In this post I want to talk about, how most of us as parents, beat ourselves up when we get things wrong, mess up or want to do things over again with our kids.
Its a common symptom to feel bad when we are less than perfect as parents. We feel guilty, we talk negatively to ourselves, we put ourselves down. But at the end of the day, that just makes us feel worse about ourselves, makes us more stressed and more unhappy. And we all know when we feel that way, it doesn’t do our children any favours. It doesn’t model to them good self esteem, and it means we are probably more likely to snap or yell.
But the truth is, there isn’t such a thing as a perfect parent anyway, so why do we feel the need to live up to these ideals we have in our heads?
A common side effect of being human is that we make mistakes, everybody does it. And those that tell you they don’t have a screw lose somewhere because we all know they really do. 
Mistakes are healthy, they help us grow. When we do something we don’t like, we can think of ways we can make it better the next time. When we mess up, we can apologise to those we’ve hurt. When we are habitually doing something we’re not happy with, we can take responsibility for our actions and find help to change our behaviour. And as an added bonus, our kids see us doing these things, (especially if we talk to them about it where appropriate through having an open, honest and equal relationship with them) and then they’ll likely go on to use these healthy habits in their own lives.
I know it’s not always as easy as it seems, believe me. But beating ourselves up about our mistakes doesn’t get us anywhere positive. It just takes us further down the rabbit hole of stress and negativity.
Do yourself a favour today, look at all the reasons you’re a great parent. When you make a mistake, tell yourself it’s OK, you can move through it, learn from it, and do it better next time. Don’t let any negative self talk come in and make amends with others where necessary.
Do you usually beat yourself up when you mess up your parenting? What things do you say to yourself to help you feel more positive if your having a stressful day?
Would love to hear your thoughts below!
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Jenna
