How to Stop Stressful Thoughts

I’m always an avid believer in ‘ The only person you can change is yourself’ philosophy.  This goes for parenting and my relationship with my kids too.  I try to always question and work on my reactions and beliefs as a parent before trying to ‘discipline’ my little ones.

This often leads me to look into tried and tested methods for changing my own automatic negative reactions.  Having a background in hypnotherapy and NLP, (along with a trip into more ‘way out’ healing methods and philosophies) its something that I love, applying it to parenting and children is a natural byproduct.

Recently I’ve very much been looking into and reading about ‘The Work’ by Byron Katie.  Its a fantastic method for allowing stressful or negative thoughts to loosen their grip on you.

The best thing about it is that it’s completely free.  If you head over to the website, it gives you all the tools and explains how to do it in full.  There are many videos of Katie doing The Work with people on youtube and her website.

I will be putting her books on my recommended reading section, which you can buy from here through Amazon.

Byron Katie’s method involves asking yourself 4 questions and then a turnaround statement about your beliefs or  ‘shoulds’ etc.  Its such a simple technique and yet can have profound results.  I’m really excited about how it can help in the parenting journey, and with our partners too!  I’ll give you a quick example of some statements / beliefs that instantly come to mind to use it on.


‘My son should tidy up more’.

‘She shouldnt be late’

‘He shouldnt eat sweets’

‘she should respect me more’

The 4 questions are:

1.  Is it true

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3.How does this thought affect you – what do you think / do?  How do you treat yourself or the other person?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

The best examples I can give to help you understand what it is and how to do it are by Byron Katie herself.  The first video below is an introduction to The Work and the last one is man doing The Work on his belief that his father wasnt there for him.


Have you learnt about The Work before? What do you think? Where will it help you in your life?  Please share your thoughts below, would love to know what you think!


Emma Combes

Emma helps parents overcome the automatic negative reactions that are stopping them from parenting consciously and with love through her coaching practice. She also helps parents live the most awesome life in all areas, so they can know they were the best role model they could be for their children.