Comments for http://consciousmama.com Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:33:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Comment on How Much Are You Controlling Your Kids Unnecessarily? by SALin http://consciousmama.com/how-much-are-you-controlling-your-kids-unecessarily/comment-page-1/#comment-114 SALin Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:33:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=422#comment-114 I agree with this but to a point.  If I let my children do what they want, they would be out playing on the street with their neighbourhood friends until 10pm each night and be too tired for school in the morning.  They would go out of sight, down to the duck pond, where it just isn't safe.  With food though I guess if we don't have junk in the house, yes they can eat what they want, because if we had junk I know one of them would eat nothing but.  However, if I don't make them ask me about what they can have, and restrict them to put a few in a bowl, they take the whole packet outside, and waste half of it, plus they have no room left for a nice wholesome dinner.  Also, like somebody mentioned below, if I didn't make them tidy, they would forever tell me they will do it later, never do it, and my house would be a horror story to live in. So I do allow them more than some, but do have to reign them in or they just go too far.  It may be our particular circumstances, or their ages, but I couldn't let them make all of their own choices.  I have read studies to find that children prefer some rules as it gives them some security also. I agree with this but to a point.  If I let my children do what they want, they would be out playing on the street with their neighbourhood friends until 10pm each night and be too tired for school in the morning.  They would go out of sight, down to the duck pond, where it just isn’t safe.  With food though I guess if we don’t have junk in the house, yes they can eat what they want, because if we had junk I know one of them would eat nothing but.  However, if I don’t make them ask me about what they can have, and restrict them to put a few in a bowl, they take the whole packet outside, and waste half of it, plus they have no room left for a nice wholesome dinner.  Also, like somebody mentioned below, if I didn’t make them tidy, they would forever tell me they will do it later, never do it, and my house would be a horror story to live in.
So I do allow them more than some, but do have to reign them in or they just go too far.  It may be our particular circumstances, or their ages, but I couldn’t let them make all of their own choices.  I have read studies to find that children prefer some rules as it gives them some security also.

]]> Comment on Why Mindful Parenting Isn’t One Size Fits All by Anonymous http://consciousmama.com/why-mindful-parenting-isnt-one-size-fits-all/comment-page-1/#comment-113 Anonymous Sat, 17 Dec 2011 13:18:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=876#comment-113 I like what you said about being gentle with ourselves. When I mess up and yell instead of taking some time away myself to calm down, it makes me feel better knowing that tomorrow is a new day, I can always apologize to my kids, and start over again. I like what you said about being gentle with ourselves. When I mess up and yell instead of taking some time away myself to calm down, it makes me feel better knowing that tomorrow is a new day, I can always apologize to my kids, and start over again.

]]> Comment on Being Your Childs Partner by Lily http://consciousmama.com/being-your-childs-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-112 Lily Sat, 10 Dec 2011 20:40:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=780#comment-112 Hi, just wanted to add to the discussion about TV and parental controls. There are no limits on TV in our house. We also don't limit computer time, on-line time, food (including sweets, cakes and chocolate) or just about anything else. We do, however, do lots of discussion, negotiation, make suggestions, explain both natural and social consequences and sometimes fall back into knee-jerk coercion or argument! Take a look at the blogpost I did on our experiences with TV (which still hold true now) http://www.autonomouseducation.com/2011/01/please-turn-off-tv-mommy.html Hi, just wanted to add to the discussion about TV and parental controls. There are no limits on TV in our house. We also don’t limit computer time, on-line time, food (including sweets, cakes and chocolate) or just about anything else. We do, however, do lots of discussion, negotiation, make suggestions, explain both natural and social consequences and sometimes fall back into knee-jerk coercion or argument!

Take a look at the blogpost I did on our experiences with TV (which still hold true now) http://www.autonomouseducation.com/2011/01/please-turn-off-tv-mommy.html

]]> Comment on You’ll Never Be A Perfect Parent by Jenna http://consciousmama.com/youll-never-be-a-perfect-parent/comment-page-1/#comment-110 Jenna Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:46:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=848#comment-110 boy i do this all the time!  I'll tell everyone else to be kind to themselves, but I beat myself up for not reading enough to my son, or letting him watch too many movies so I can get some things done.  I feel guilty every day.  Time to stop! thanks Emma! boy i do this all the time!  I’ll tell everyone else to be kind to themselves, but I beat myself up for not reading enough to my son, or letting him watch too many movies so I can get some things done.  I feel guilty every day.  Time to stop! thanks Emma!

]]> Comment on Being Your Childs Partner by Emma Combes @ Consciousmama http://consciousmama.com/being-your-childs-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-109 Emma Combes @ Consciousmama Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:36:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=780#comment-109 Thankyou Alex!!  First of all, sorry for the late reply, I've only just seen your comment!  I completely understand where you're coming from, I have the odd flashing thoughts myself of parental irresponsibility etc :)    First I would say to maybe question you're beliefs on it.  You said that your 4yo would eat sweets all the time.  Is that true?  Would he really eat them all the time everyday all year?  :)  You know how, when something is restricted you want more of it?  Have you ever heard the phrase, 'always want what you can't have?'  I've seen some research studies on the food issues that sold me on this idea, if I can digg the videos out at any time I'll post them ;)  But really, I believe its about trusting our children to make the best decisions for their bodies.  At first, when you start to say yes more to sweets etc, you'll probably find he will eat more as he's trying to get his fix before (he believes) the restrictions come back (same with TV).  But if you trust and continue going, I truly believe that you'll find he may even eat less 'junk' than he does now.  Have plenty of healthy foods available so he always has free choice.  And again with TV, make sure they have other fun stuff  available that isn't TV too, so they have choices.  They may still chose the TV and sweets but that's ok.  By them chosing you are helping them learn how different foods, different decisions even, make them feel and affect them.  Plus, the other reason of course is it leads to a better relationship between you and your son, more trust, more respect.  I hope that helps.    Thankyou Alex!!  First of all, sorry for the late reply, I’ve only just seen your comment!  I completely understand where you’re coming from, I have the odd flashing thoughts myself of parental irresponsibility etc :)     First I would say to maybe question you’re beliefs on it.  You said that your 4yo would eat sweets all the time.  Is that true?  Would he really eat them all the time everyday all year?  :)   You know how, when something is restricted you want more of it?  Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘always want what you can’t have?’  I’ve seen some research studies on the food issues that sold me on this idea, if I can digg the videos out at any time I’ll post them ;)   But really, I believe its about trusting our children to make the best decisions for their bodies.  At first, when you start to say yes more to sweets etc, you’ll probably find he will eat more as he’s trying to get his fix before (he believes) the restrictions come back (same with TV).  But if you trust and continue going, I truly believe that you’ll find he may even eat less ‘junk’ than he does now. 
Have plenty of healthy foods available so he always has free choice.  And again with TV, make sure they have other fun stuff  available that isn’t TV too, so they have choices.  They may still chose the TV and sweets but that’s ok.  By them chosing you are helping them learn how different foods, different decisions even, make them feel and affect them.  Plus, the other reason of course is it leads to a better relationship between you and your son, more trust, more respect.  I hope that helps.   

]]> Comment on Being Your Childs Partner by Emma Combes @ Consciousmama http://consciousmama.com/being-your-childs-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-108 Emma Combes @ Consciousmama Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:42:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=780#comment-108 Thanks Christina!  Its great you've found it working in your home, and yes, that respect and trust is so important, it really lays the foundations for solutions to be found as often as we can! :) Thanks Christina!  Its great you’ve found it working in your home, and yes, that respect and trust is so important, it really lays the foundations for solutions to be found as often as we can! :)

]]> Comment on Being Your Childs Partner by Alexandra http://consciousmama.com/being-your-childs-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-107 Alexandra Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:25:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=780#comment-107 Hi Emma - First, I want to say that I love your work and really find it inspiring. This particular blog really has me thinking about how I parent my 4-year old boy. He is so totally into the tv and computer and wants to watch it all the time; he also loves sugary junk foods and would eat that all the time. I want so hard to relinquish control and let him lead the way in these areas as I do with my 7-year old daughter and in other areas of their lives, but I worry that doing so would be irresponsible! I would love to hear your thoughts...Thanks, Alex. Hi Emma – First, I want to say that I love your work and really find it inspiring. This particular blog really has me thinking about how I parent my 4-year old boy. He is so totally into the tv and computer and wants to watch it all the time; he also loves sugary junk foods and would eat that all the time. I want so hard to relinquish control and let him lead the way in these areas as I do with my 7-year old daughter and in other areas of their lives, but I worry that doing so would be irresponsible! I would love to hear your thoughts…Thanks, Alex.

]]> Comment on Being Your Childs Partner by Anonymous http://consciousmama.com/being-your-childs-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-106 Anonymous Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:00:00 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=780#comment-106 I love how you describe how we can be our child's partner. That's what we strive for in our family- everyone working together. I have young children, so of course there won't always be times when they'll agree with everything that needs to be done, but for the most part, they know we respect and trust them, so it makes our home much more harmonious. I love how you describe how we can be our child’s partner. That’s what we strive for in our family- everyone working together. I have young children, so of course there won’t always be times when they’ll agree with everything that needs to be done, but for the most part, they know we respect and trust them, so it makes our home much more harmonious.

]]> Comment on How To Parent – When Times Get Rough… by Are You Friends With Your Kids? | http://consciousmama.com/how-to-parent-when-times-get-rough/comment-page-1/#comment-105 Are You Friends With Your Kids? | Mon, 10 Oct 2011 20:46:50 +0000 http://consciousmama.com/?p=539#comment-105 [...] How To Parent – When Times Get Rough… [...] [...] How To Parent – When Times Get Rough… [...]

]]> Comment on How To Deal With Toddler Tantrums by How To Parent – What’s Your Meaning? | http://consciousmama.com/how-to-deal-with-toddler-tantrums/comment-page-1/#comment-104 How To Parent – What’s Your Meaning? | Fri, 07 Oct 2011 07:07:23 +0000 http://consciousmama.co.uk/?p=42#comment-104 [...] again.  You have a CHOICE.  You could make it mean that they are being difiant, difficult, moody, tantruming, rude or ill behaved, this naturally would make you angry.  Make you think things like; how dare [...] [...] again.  You have a CHOICE.  You could make it mean that they are being difiant, difficult, moody, tantruming, rude or ill behaved, this naturally would make you angry.  Make you think things like; how dare [...]

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