Are You Looking After Number 1?
One of the most important points of being a good parent is one of the things most parents overlook. The importance of taking time for ourselves.
It was my sons 1st birthday recently and it gave me a chance to review my life, over the past year and look at how much time I’d given to myself……. hmmmm. I have to say there wasn’t much!
Apart from a one off gym session and skipping out the house while he was sleeping to go to the supermarket, I hadn’t left him. When he was asleep I was showering or trying to get work done. I really hadn’t had any ‘me’ time. OK, maybe I’m an extreme case!
This week I’m making it my mission to attend a dance class for myself, or something that I can do regularly, even just once a week to call my own time.
‘Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours.’ ~ Richard Bach
I think at times we all get so wrapped up in childcare that we forget how important it is to take time for ourselves. Our lives can get into a mode where they revolve around other people, their needs and wants.
For me, part of conscious parenting is to have a household where everybody’s needs get equal importance. The family works as a team to help everyone get needs met and wants fulfilled where possible.
I think society in terms of the sexes has a tradition of women putting others before themselves. Even as children we were probably taught to consider others needs over our own.
‘Women are taught to enhance other people at the expense of the self; men are taught to bolster the self, often at the expense of others. It’s hard to get it all in balance.’ Harriet Lerner Ph.D ~ The Dance Of Intimacy
One of the important steps towards making time for ourselves is thinking we are worthy of it. If we don’t love ourselves first then we have less of ourselves to give to others, no matter how hard we try.
What Is Self Love?
To me, self love can be expressed in so many different ways, but I think one of them, and an important one at that, is finding our passions, (outside of parenting) and taking time for them regularly. Expressing creativity in some way is so important, whether thats writing, drawing, dancing, cooking, going for a walk in nature etc etc.
‘If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.’ ~ Barbara De Angelis
When we are engaged in our passions or taking time out on our own, we are able to breathe and become ourselves again. A bit like a emotional recharge on the batteries. It can make us feel at peace with ourselves once again. A time to remember who we are besides ‘Mother’, ‘Partner’ etc.
Another great way to practice self love is to do daily affirmations, it may sound wishy washy, but it does really work! If you tell yourself something enough, you will start to believe it.
Below I’ve incuded a video with some positive affirmations for you to watch as a starter for anyone who hasn’t heard about them before.
What do you think the most important thing you can do for yourself each week is? Let us know in the comments below!