I believe children deserve to be treated with the same respect and kindness that you would offer to a good friend and I believe most mainstream parenting techniques don’t do that…
If you’re reading this page you are probably quite passionate about positive parenting or conscious parenting or whatever terminology you want to call it. You may also be looking for answers, answers to how you can stop your automatic negative reactions to your children. You know, the ones where they do something and you just shout, without thinking. Or you hear yourself bribing then, or criticising them and wish you hadn’t just let that out of your mouth.
If you’re anything like me, you probably know that mainstream parenting techniques don’t help children feel accepted, loved unconditionally and honoured for who they are. And you know that, as with ourselves, this can go on to create problems in adult life with self esteem, healthy relationship patterns and confidence.
As Pam Leo writes:
“Lets raise children who don’t have to recover from their childhoods”
I believe that if we want to live in a peaceful world, that if we want to stop war, that if we want to raise consciousness on the planet, we have to shift the parenting paradigm we currently have. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. If we don’t have peace in ourselves, we don’t have peace in our families, if we don’t have peace in our families, we don’t have peace in our community. If we don’t have peace in our community, we won’t have peace in our country, and of course if we don’t have peace in our country then its inevitable we wont have peace in the world.
Ultimately conscious and positive parenting, for me, is about becoming peaceful, acting from a place of wholeness rather than re-acting from our own childhoods. And I believe its up to us to do the work to change this.
I believe things in our external world are a reflection of what’s going on for us internally ~ As within, so without. If your having problems raising your children peacefully, then I believe you need to start by looking at yourself, your own childhood and your unconscious stuff which, along with promoting the message of positive parenting, is what this site is all about.
“It starts with us, it always starts with us” Emma Combes
I’m guessing, like me, you believe parenting is a journey, a journey of our own evolution. It can be one of the toughest journeys in self growth and looking at yourself honestly.
However, I also believe that being the best parents we can be doesn’t end with our parenting. Thats where it begins, and it filters into the rest of our lives. The relationship we have with our partner will be the model that our children use for relationships when they grow up. Who you are being in the world will be the deep unconscious model of what your children think of as what a man or woman should be. Your influence on your children can seep into every area, how you treat others, how you deal with your mistakes, and most importantly, how you treat yourself.
Now I’m not saying all this to freak you out I don’t think we should be feeling pressured to be perfect or else risk fracking up our children’s lives But I do think that through my own evolution and growth I can help to facilitate more positive learning and self esteem in my kids lives early on. Not because I am aiming for perfection, I don’t think that exists. But because I am consciously becoming the best person I can be in my life, in my relationships to others, in my relationships with my kids and ultimately my relationships with myself.
I want to shift as much of the negative paradigm as possible for my kids so they have less to deal with.
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What do you think? Let me know in the comments below why do you want to be a better parent??